Epiphany...Today I realized some things!!!

Well...well...well...How have you been Cyber World????

It has been a long time since I have posted some of my original thoughts on this BLOG but for a while now, I have been feeling the need to release some built up tension and what better place to do it then right here on my BLOG. 

Lately, I have been doing a lot of work on myself. Mainly, because I have had nothing but time, but also because I have noticed some things that need to change in my life. I learned a long time ago that you can't change other people so you have to begin with self so here is where I begin...

I had an epiphany today (well actually a few)... I realized some things about myself and the things that make me tick and they make  good sense so I thought I would share them with those that care to read.

Here lately, myself and a few of the other females in my circle have come to the true realization that SOME DUDES just aren't meant to be. No matter how much you like them...want to be with them...think they have potential or whatever SOME just plain aren't READY! Point Blank PERIOD...now this can be a very harsh reality for a female who thought they had things all figured out!

Silly me right...RIGHT! 

I decided that it was time to think of some things and work on me, after spending my last Sunday sharing my blues with my BFF whom I love to death (BIG Kisses & Hugs to her for always being there...) We came to a consensus on some things which brought me to some of the epiphanies that I had today...

1. I AM GETTING TOO "MATURE" FOR "RANDOM" DATING 

Now, don't get me wrong, I like going out on dates, but I am no longer at the point that I want to go out on dates with "Who shot John" on Monday, "I look good, but have nothing on my mind Dan" on Wednesday and "I am going to make you think I am ready but still want to play Tom" On  Friday or Saturday. I don't mind dating, but dating one person is enough to remember...I don't want to be dating half the city trying to find one person who may be even remotely close to wanting the same things that I want. I have even discovered that dating one person, if they're the wrong person, can still be a hassle so from now on I plan to ask any man that wants to take me out, why?

Him:     Can I take you out some time soon?
Me:       Why? Are you ready for something serious later?
Him:     Uhhhhhh... *running scared because he was just playing* 
Me:       I thought so...

I just don't have time any more and I don't want to waste any more time. Now, while it may be a little funny, it is true...if my ultimate goal is to be in a committed relationship with ONE MAN then there is no need for me to be dating the dude that still wants to play, have "snow bunnies" or "suga mommas" I just don't have time for it anymore. For years, I have been hearing...if a MAN wants to be with you he knows within minutes of meeting you...They say when a man knows he knows...OK...I won't be the one waiting around anymore while he tries to figure it out. Get it together please or get on...or as I said on FB earlier after watching it on this relationship video..."It is time to "Step up in my life or STEP OUT..." Playtime is OVER! It will never be the perfect time for most things...learn to be honest, relate, communicate and GROW TOGETHER!!!" I wish folks would stop being so scared of what they are going to miss in these streets and realize it is NOTHING!!! You can build some much more with someone...we weren't made to be a part, but guess who will be until I have someone who is READY to step up in my life and grow together...ME!


2. I HATE BEING LIED TOO...


Now this was another one of my FB stats today...yes, it was based on some lies that I realized, did I confront the person about it?! ...NO... Why you might ask?!...because they already knew they were lying to me. They lied on purpose to cover something up that they didn't really want me to know. Let me ask you something person!!!... do you really think I am going to keep hanging around and the quality of your lies is so bad that I can see right through them....IMMEDIATELY! I mean come on son! Give me some credit. I have been in this world for a beautiful 31 years and I have been through and seen more things than you might be able to imagine, you aren't really getting over on me slim! I know you! I have watched you change and I see the difference. Man, I am x-ray hip, as my good friend would say, meaning I see right through your ish...just because I don't openly acknowledge it right now, doesn't mean I am not paying attention. I see and HEAR everything. Sad part about it is most folk don't even realize when you are giving them time to redeem themselves. I want to just scream like in the Spike Lee Movie WAAAAKKKKEEEEE UUUUUPPPPPPPP!!!!!!! I guess that won't happen until folks are watching my back! (as I walk away of course) 


3. IF HE LIKES YOU HE WILL MAKE TIME


Now, I can't say that this is really new, but more and more I am watching people accept less and less, including myself, and I had to stop and ask myself...Gurla...what are you doing?! You know dag on well that man had time to come see you or talk to you, he didn't because HE DIDN'T WANT TO...tonight or today was someone else's time and you can't have it. If a MAN, not a BOY wants to be with you, he will make time, he will call, he will want to see you as much as he knows you want to see him...take a look at this video that I watched today. He is certainly speaking some confirmation to me. In the beginning, dudes will sacrifice almost everything to come see you, call you, text you, whatever and then *POW* the new chick hits the scene and *in my Selena Johnson voice* It all falls down...hill that is. The calls stop, the visits get far and few in between, the texts become non-existent and eventually you two fall off the map. I don't have time for this crap anymore. At the first site of lessened behavior I'm singing "hit the road jack and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more..." unless you are ready that is and you have consulted God first...I don't have time for childish games anymore, life is too short.  Grow up or GET LOST... PLEASE!!!! 

4. I AM TAKING MY POWER BACK AND KEEPING IT!

I am a woman who likes to do nice things for my guy, I cook, plan surprises and even make sure that I help you remember the things most important to you. Now, unlike some of the things mentioned in this clip that I watched earlier from Talks with Tony, which I think would be helpful to help you get your power back as well, I don't let men control me in the ways most think. Me, in all honesty, I let you know that I like you if I do and I let you know what I don't like if there is something. Most men can't handle that so it can become a power struggle between the two or scare some half to death. When I say I want honesty...believe me I do, so I can make a choice to stay or to go...I don't like being forced into things. I don't like being in the room with your friends and everyone else knows I am just one of many...atleast let me be in on the joke...don't leave me hanging. I like laughter too! *Shooooot* Don't save all the funnies for after I leave let me laugh with you, so I can laugh at you when I make haste and *STEP* I am at a point in my life where I am ready to be someone's "NUMERO UNO" I don't want to be number on the team...I want to be NUMBER ONE AND ONLY...If you can't or aren't ready for that say so Jack! and we can make like a banana and split! LOL...corny I know, but I mean it...Life is too short and I mean way too short to be playing on a team forever. The only team I want to be on is my softball team (Go Team DirtBoyz), but no relationship teams for me unless it is our family unit. I said all that to say it is either ALL OR NOTHING and I am keeping my power until someone is ready and willing to give me their all and I MEAN IT!


NOW, please read me and read me clearly, I don't mean that we need to be married over night, but I do know that there will never be a perfect time for much of what goes on in this life. Everything will take work. We will all have our good days and our bad days, but ultimately we make ourselves happy. If you find someone that makes you happy, why wait...so someone else can come along and try to get them...makes no sense. Now, I know that according to the word, what God has for you is for you, so if someone comes along and takes that person then they may not have been for you, but what if they are and your procrastination, because you need a few more notches on your head board, lets them pass you by...Yes, there is a possibility you may get them back, but how long will you hurt before you do?


Save the begging and make the right decision today...save yourself and work on yourself until the right one comes along is what I am telling myself...Maybe you should do the same..

I am so thankful for these things I realized today...and I am even more happy that I sat down and wrote this BLOG...


Just my thoughts and I thank you for yours...comments that is...


*Muah*


Ms. Shaun