I was listening to some music this morning, as I normally do, and a question popped into my mind…What does it take to have a successful relationship? For the purposes of this BLOG we will consider a romantic relationship.
I pondered this question for a few moments and I decided that one of the first things I would deem important after GOD, who should be a major part of everything for those that are religious, is the fact that there needs to be two willing participants. No relationship can/will work if one party does not want to be involved in the situation to begin with. I think that it is important for us to make sure that we are both well aware of what we are getting ourselves into before we make a commitment to be someone’s bf/gf, so that we avoid any hurt feelings later.
Now, I know that my first choice isn’t traditional, but I think that may be the foundation that is broken in many relationships from the start. Don’t get me wrong, honesty, trust, friendship, and things along those lines apply as well, but I want to know what you think.
Post your feedback and I will compile a list of the top answers.
I am waiting on you!
Thursday, May 7, 2009
Tuesday, April 14, 2009
Appreciate my ultra short hair By Carina R.
You can not love someone you don't appreciate and you can not appreciate what you do not see. -Bishop Ronnie Crudup, New Horizon Church International
I want to say "thank you" to the one in my life who appreciates me. Me.
He runs his fingers through my ultra short hair, kisses my forehead and tells me he cares.
Kisses my cheek because he misses me.
He misses me when I am not around just on the other side of town. And it's insane because we can talk for hours and he still misses me.
He is my comfort, my strength and my sanity when life is hectic and the air is thick with the stress I breathe.
He holds me, his arms are my sanctuary.
He wants what is best for me. Is gentle with me when I need comfort and support and he tells me the truth especially when it hurts.
And we don't argue we share difference of opinions, strong wills, and strong personalities. We don't fight... we clash, we dispute and debate. Get mad and laugh, talk it over and respect the differences of perspective because that is why we are friends.
Partners.
Friends.
He is sweet sweet sweet. Nice and good to me. Feather downy soft and warm, I feel safe and protected in his presence and in his arms.
Smooth.
He appreciates me because he knows that I gave when I didn't have. He can always have my last because he will always put me first. He was a provider when he didn't have it and I know it hurt.
But he is ALWAYS a man first. His word is his bond. His bond is his word.
He appreciates me. He sees me. And he told me that I am beautiful and unique. He loves my personality and my ultra short hair.
He runs his fingers through my ultra short hair.
--
Shaun~
"Love cares more for others than for self." 1 Corinthians 13:7
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed
I want to say "thank you" to the one in my life who appreciates me. Me.
He runs his fingers through my ultra short hair, kisses my forehead and tells me he cares.
Kisses my cheek because he misses me.
He misses me when I am not around just on the other side of town. And it's insane because we can talk for hours and he still misses me.
He is my comfort, my strength and my sanity when life is hectic and the air is thick with the stress I breathe.
He holds me, his arms are my sanctuary.
He wants what is best for me. Is gentle with me when I need comfort and support and he tells me the truth especially when it hurts.
And we don't argue we share difference of opinions, strong wills, and strong personalities. We don't fight... we clash, we dispute and debate. Get mad and laugh, talk it over and respect the differences of perspective because that is why we are friends.
Partners.
Friends.
He is sweet sweet sweet. Nice and good to me. Feather downy soft and warm, I feel safe and protected in his presence and in his arms.
Smooth.
He appreciates me because he knows that I gave when I didn't have. He can always have my last because he will always put me first. He was a provider when he didn't have it and I know it hurt.
But he is ALWAYS a man first. His word is his bond. His bond is his word.
He appreciates me. He sees me. And he told me that I am beautiful and unique. He loves my personality and my ultra short hair.
He runs his fingers through my ultra short hair.
--
Shaun~
"Love cares more for others than for self." 1 Corinthians 13:7
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed
Tuesday, March 24, 2009
Movie: Fireproof
I watched this movie last night and I thought it was a very good movie. Not only did it talk about relationships on all levels, it spoke more importantly about the importance of a relationship with God.
I think this is a good movie for everyone to see. If you have Comcast you can watch it OnDemand for $4.99.
They have a really helpful website at www.fireproofmymarriage.com
Now, this isn't just for married folks. There is a section of the website for couples etc. They even have an article entitled "The Benefits of Pre-Engagement Counseling" for dating couples.
NOW...Don't listen to me, check it out for yourself. IMO, it is worth it. Watch it with your husband, finace, boyfriend, significant other, *buddy* whomever. Just watch it!
You will be blessed from it somehow!
*Be blessed, as you have been a blessing to me*
--
Shaun~
"Love cares more for others than for self." 1 Corinthians 13:7
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed
I think this is a good movie for everyone to see. If you have Comcast you can watch it OnDemand for $4.99.
They have a really helpful website at www.fireproofmymarriage.com
Now, this isn't just for married folks. There is a section of the website for couples etc. They even have an article entitled "The Benefits of Pre-Engagement Counseling" for dating couples.
NOW...Don't listen to me, check it out for yourself. IMO, it is worth it. Watch it with your husband, finace, boyfriend, significant other, *buddy* whomever. Just watch it!
You will be blessed from it somehow!
*Be blessed, as you have been a blessing to me*
--
Shaun~
"Love cares more for others than for self." 1 Corinthians 13:7
Sent from my BlackBerry® smartphone with SprintSpeed
Wednesday, January 14, 2009
7 years ago today...The loss of my son!
Seven years ago today I lost my first son, an experience I will never forget.
One never truly knows the pain of death until you loose a child. I was a 21 year old married woman pregnant with her first child. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that my pregnancy would end abruptly and in such a horrible fashion. As I sit back and recall the events of those days leading up to and then the 3 days in labor I still feel the pain as if it were yesterday.
I think about my son Demandre’ Antoine (Dre’ as he was affectionately called) daily. I wonder what he would be like if he were living today, would he be tall like his mom or short like his dad. Spoiled wasn’t a question because he was already that, and handsome was not a worry either because he had cute parents. :)
I think the thing that I wonder the most is if there was anything that I could have done to change it. I understand Divine order and the fact that everything happens in God’s time, but I wonder if there was some small change that I could have made to save my son’s life. Ultimately, the answer is NO, because God is in control, and I try to find comfort and solace in that fact.
Life is no bed of rose and I certainly know that, but is there ever going to come a time when I don’t wonder what my child is doing in Heaven daily. I can’t physically see him or talk to him, but I know he is there. He is there watching over his mom, dad, grandparents, brother, aunts, uncles, godparents and the rest of his family as an angel should. I know my baby is on his job, and that I will one day meet him in Heaven again. That doesn’t ease the day to day pain here on earth.
Many of us know the serenity prayer and quote it when it sounds good, but today I am truly asking God to grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference.
RIP Demandre’ Antoine…this BLOG is for you!
One never truly knows the pain of death until you loose a child. I was a 21 year old married woman pregnant with her first child. Never in my wildest dreams could I have imagined that my pregnancy would end abruptly and in such a horrible fashion. As I sit back and recall the events of those days leading up to and then the 3 days in labor I still feel the pain as if it were yesterday.
I think about my son Demandre’ Antoine (Dre’ as he was affectionately called) daily. I wonder what he would be like if he were living today, would he be tall like his mom or short like his dad. Spoiled wasn’t a question because he was already that, and handsome was not a worry either because he had cute parents. :)
I think the thing that I wonder the most is if there was anything that I could have done to change it. I understand Divine order and the fact that everything happens in God’s time, but I wonder if there was some small change that I could have made to save my son’s life. Ultimately, the answer is NO, because God is in control, and I try to find comfort and solace in that fact.
Life is no bed of rose and I certainly know that, but is there ever going to come a time when I don’t wonder what my child is doing in Heaven daily. I can’t physically see him or talk to him, but I know he is there. He is there watching over his mom, dad, grandparents, brother, aunts, uncles, godparents and the rest of his family as an angel should. I know my baby is on his job, and that I will one day meet him in Heaven again. That doesn’t ease the day to day pain here on earth.
Many of us know the serenity prayer and quote it when it sounds good, but today I am truly asking God to grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can and the Wisdom to know the difference.
RIP Demandre’ Antoine…this BLOG is for you!
Wednesday, December 17, 2008
Do you love with your heart or your mind?
Now to most, this may be cut and dry, but I was having a conversation this morning that lead me to wonder. Do people really love with their hearts or do they love with their mind? Is there a difference or is it bad to do one over the other.
Personally, there have been times when both have happened for some reason or another. In my opinion, it is better to love with the heart, but potentially more painful. Loving with your heart can get you wrapped up. It can make you express those things that the mind may say don’t need to be discussed. It can cause you to do things before the mind thinks you should or give more than most folks think you have, but is this really a problem?
Love is a risk, no matter how you slice it. In some instances it works out for the greater good and in other instances it hurts like hell, but without pain is there really any progress? It reminds me of the ying and the yang, you have to take the good with the bad and move forward, but sometime that bad helps to propel you to a better place.
Consider this, if all of our relationships were good and there was no heartache there wouldn’t be many relationships. There would be no life lessons learned and no “trial and error.” I guess for all intensive purposes there would be nothing for us to work on or change in the next relationship.
Are we supposed to love whole heartedly and learn what we need to from each person since people are in our life for a “reason, season, or lifetime” or are we supposed to use our mind and try to “figure love out” and explain it before we love (something I am still working on)!
For today, give loving with your heart a try and see how you like it, something tells me you may like it better…Just like me!
As always your opinion is valued and appreciated.
I thank you for taking the time to respond.
XOXOXOXO
<3 Shaun~
Personally, there have been times when both have happened for some reason or another. In my opinion, it is better to love with the heart, but potentially more painful. Loving with your heart can get you wrapped up. It can make you express those things that the mind may say don’t need to be discussed. It can cause you to do things before the mind thinks you should or give more than most folks think you have, but is this really a problem?
Love is a risk, no matter how you slice it. In some instances it works out for the greater good and in other instances it hurts like hell, but without pain is there really any progress? It reminds me of the ying and the yang, you have to take the good with the bad and move forward, but sometime that bad helps to propel you to a better place.
Consider this, if all of our relationships were good and there was no heartache there wouldn’t be many relationships. There would be no life lessons learned and no “trial and error.” I guess for all intensive purposes there would be nothing for us to work on or change in the next relationship.
Are we supposed to love whole heartedly and learn what we need to from each person since people are in our life for a “reason, season, or lifetime” or are we supposed to use our mind and try to “figure love out” and explain it before we love (something I am still working on)!
For today, give loving with your heart a try and see how you like it, something tells me you may like it better…Just like me!
As always your opinion is valued and appreciated.
I thank you for taking the time to respond.
XOXOXOXO
<3 Shaun~
Monday, December 8, 2008
Love...to be in it or out is the question?
Question of the Day...
In your opinion, what's the difference between simply loving someone and being in love with someone?
Let me start with the definition of the word love. According to www.dictionary.com love is defined as:
1.
A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2.
A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
Now, the most important definition of love is “God’s Love” when examining my thoughts about love and what it is, I often think of the love that the bible speaks of when they talk about the love that God has for us. I went to www.bible.com to see if there was a specific biblical definition of love, and there wasn’t a topic, however, since this question was posed in the context of relationships I found an article entitled “Choosing a mate” http://www.bible.com/bibleanswers_result.php?id=149 (you can click the link to read the entire article for yourself), but basically, as some have said before, love is about many things. Love is patient, love is kind, it is constant and everlasting. In my opinion, for those that are religious, if we are trying to walk in the light of the Lord then love is an easy subject to understand, you love others as God loves you and that is unconditional. Point blank, PERIOD!
Love is not something that leaves, or it isn’t supposed to. When you truly love someone that love shouldn’t change, no matter what happens. Love doesn’t die, it is forever. In my humble opinion, loving someone should simply be “what we do.” It is a part of life. I think that in too many cases, during our relationships, we forget that according to the word of God we are supposed to love everyone so there should be no question as to whether or not we love someone. Now, does that love come in different packages, of course it does! We don’t love our parents the same way that we love our husbands or wives and there is a level of sexual intimacy that isn’t there with other people in our lives, or at least there should be.
All in all I think that loving someone from the bf/gf (or whatever your preference be set toJ) standpoint gets clouded because we loose site of the main goal which is to love others as God loves us. Life would be much simpler if we put more time into accepting love instead of trying to figure it out, or trying to find ways to “fall out of it”
A while back I created a blog entitled Love *Oh Goodness* and I think that really sums up majority of my thoughts on love itself.
On the other hand, being in love with someone is on a whole other level. There is a difference for those that think there is not, check out the bible.com article above.
According to dictionary.com to be “in love” is
In love, infused with or feeling deep affection or passion: a youth always in love.
26.
In love with, feeling deep affection or passion for (a person, idea, occupation, etc.); enamored of: in love with the girl next door; in love with one's work.
In my opinion, which matters to me, to be in love is to love, PLUS! It is the act of loving on a whole other level, to be in love with someone is to experience the unknown. With each person you fall in love with, things are different. There is a level of commitment when you are in love with someone beyond anything you can imagine. A commitment that can make you take your bf/gf back when they have hurt you more than you ever could know, or have ever dreamed of. It is being willing to include someone else in your thoughts and dreams. It is missing that person when you are away and longing for them throughout your day. It is absolutely amazing to be honest, when you allow yourself to be in love.
I honestly think that many people are afraid of the term “in love” even though it is filled with so many good things. People are so afraid of what they may be missing that they don’t fully allow themselves to love their mate for fear that they may get hurt, or the person may not be in love with them in return, which is a risk associated with love period because some people don’t understand or agree with the fact that no matter what we should love the way that God loves us and if we do that, how can we go wrong!
Let me try and sum this up by simply saying there are risks associated with love in this earthly realm. Someone may not realize that they actually love you until it is too late. Stop being afraid of love and embrace it, spread it around (not sexually) to all you meet, you may be surprised at how much your life improves. I think the late great Luther Vandross summed up love and being in love when he wrote I’d rather…take a look at the lyrics and see for yourself.
Don’t forget to leave your two cent, as I just did!
"I'd Rather"
I thought sometime alone
was what we really needed
you said this time would hurt more than it helps
but I couldn't see that
I thought it was the end
of a beautiful story
and so I left the one I loved at home to be alone (alone)
and I tried to find
out if this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart
I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
whoo-oo-oo-oo yeah
And then I met someone
and thought she could replace you
we got a long just fine
we wasted time because she was not you
we had a lot of fun
though we knew we were faking
love was not impressed with our connection built on lies, all lies
so I'm here cause I found this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart
I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
who holds my heart
I can't blame you if you turn away from me, like I've done you,
I can only prove the things I say with time,
please be mine,
I'd rather have bad times with (please be mine) you,
than good times with someone else (I know)
I'd rather be beside you in a storm (anytime),
than safe and warm by myself (so sure baby)
I'd rather have hard times to gether,
than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart (my heart)
I'd rather have bad times with you (surely),
than good times with someone else (surely)
I'd rather be beside you in a storm (oh yeah),
than safe and warm by myself (all by myself)
I'd rather have hard times together,
than to have it easy apart (you know it)
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
whoooo.....who holds my heart
In your opinion, what's the difference between simply loving someone and being in love with someone?
Let me start with the definition of the word love. According to www.dictionary.com love is defined as:
1.
A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2.
A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
Now, the most important definition of love is “God’s Love” when examining my thoughts about love and what it is, I often think of the love that the bible speaks of when they talk about the love that God has for us. I went to www.bible.com to see if there was a specific biblical definition of love, and there wasn’t a topic, however, since this question was posed in the context of relationships I found an article entitled “Choosing a mate” http://www.bible.com/bibleanswers_result.php?id=149 (you can click the link to read the entire article for yourself), but basically, as some have said before, love is about many things. Love is patient, love is kind, it is constant and everlasting. In my opinion, for those that are religious, if we are trying to walk in the light of the Lord then love is an easy subject to understand, you love others as God loves you and that is unconditional. Point blank, PERIOD!
Love is not something that leaves, or it isn’t supposed to. When you truly love someone that love shouldn’t change, no matter what happens. Love doesn’t die, it is forever. In my humble opinion, loving someone should simply be “what we do.” It is a part of life. I think that in too many cases, during our relationships, we forget that according to the word of God we are supposed to love everyone so there should be no question as to whether or not we love someone. Now, does that love come in different packages, of course it does! We don’t love our parents the same way that we love our husbands or wives and there is a level of sexual intimacy that isn’t there with other people in our lives, or at least there should be.
All in all I think that loving someone from the bf/gf (or whatever your preference be set toJ) standpoint gets clouded because we loose site of the main goal which is to love others as God loves us. Life would be much simpler if we put more time into accepting love instead of trying to figure it out, or trying to find ways to “fall out of it”
A while back I created a blog entitled Love *Oh Goodness* and I think that really sums up majority of my thoughts on love itself.
On the other hand, being in love with someone is on a whole other level. There is a difference for those that think there is not, check out the bible.com article above.
According to dictionary.com to be “in love” is
In love, infused with or feeling deep affection or passion: a youth always in love.
26.
In love with, feeling deep affection or passion for (a person, idea, occupation, etc.); enamored of: in love with the girl next door; in love with one's work.
In my opinion, which matters to me, to be in love is to love, PLUS! It is the act of loving on a whole other level, to be in love with someone is to experience the unknown. With each person you fall in love with, things are different. There is a level of commitment when you are in love with someone beyond anything you can imagine. A commitment that can make you take your bf/gf back when they have hurt you more than you ever could know, or have ever dreamed of. It is being willing to include someone else in your thoughts and dreams. It is missing that person when you are away and longing for them throughout your day. It is absolutely amazing to be honest, when you allow yourself to be in love.
I honestly think that many people are afraid of the term “in love” even though it is filled with so many good things. People are so afraid of what they may be missing that they don’t fully allow themselves to love their mate for fear that they may get hurt, or the person may not be in love with them in return, which is a risk associated with love period because some people don’t understand or agree with the fact that no matter what we should love the way that God loves us and if we do that, how can we go wrong!
Let me try and sum this up by simply saying there are risks associated with love in this earthly realm. Someone may not realize that they actually love you until it is too late. Stop being afraid of love and embrace it, spread it around (not sexually) to all you meet, you may be surprised at how much your life improves. I think the late great Luther Vandross summed up love and being in love when he wrote I’d rather…take a look at the lyrics and see for yourself.
Don’t forget to leave your two cent, as I just did!
"I'd Rather"
I thought sometime alone
was what we really needed
you said this time would hurt more than it helps
but I couldn't see that
I thought it was the end
of a beautiful story
and so I left the one I loved at home to be alone (alone)
and I tried to find
out if this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart
I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
whoo-oo-oo-oo yeah
And then I met someone
and thought she could replace you
we got a long just fine
we wasted time because she was not you
we had a lot of fun
though we knew we were faking
love was not impressed with our connection built on lies, all lies
so I'm here cause I found this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart
I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
who holds my heart
I can't blame you if you turn away from me, like I've done you,
I can only prove the things I say with time,
please be mine,
I'd rather have bad times with (please be mine) you,
than good times with someone else (I know)
I'd rather be beside you in a storm (anytime),
than safe and warm by myself (so sure baby)
I'd rather have hard times to gether,
than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart (my heart)
I'd rather have bad times with you (surely),
than good times with someone else (surely)
I'd rather be beside you in a storm (oh yeah),
than safe and warm by myself (all by myself)
I'd rather have hard times together,
than to have it easy apart (you know it)
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
whoooo.....who holds my heart
Wednesday, October 8, 2008
The fundamentals of ANY relationship...
I don't know where this list came from, but it is nothing but the truth! What do you think?
THE FIVE BASIC NEEDS OF A MAN
A wife makes herself irresistible to her husband by learning to meet his five basic needs:
1. His need for admiration and respect. She understands and appreciates his value and achievements more than anything else. She reminds him of his capabilities and helps him maintain his walk with God and also his self-confidence. She is proud of her husband, not out of duty, but as an expression of sincere admiration for the man she loves and with whom she has chosen to share her life. (Ephesians 5: 23, 33)
2. His need for sexual fulfillment. She becomes an excellent sexual partner to him. She studies her own response to recognize and understand what brings out the best in her, then she communicates this information to her husband, and together they learn to have a sexual r!elationship that both find repeatedly satisfying and enjoyable. (Proverbs 5:15-23, Song of Solomon 4:9-5:1, I Cor 7:1-5, Hebrews 13:4)
3. His need for home support. She creates a home that offers him an atmosphere of peace and quiet and refuge. She manages the home and care of the children. The home is a place of rest and rejuvenation. Remember: the wife/mother is the emotional hub of the family. (Proverbs 9:13, 19:13, 21:9, 19, 25:24, 31:10-31)
4. His need for her attractiveness. She is possessed of inner and outer beauty. She cultivates a Christ like spirit in her inner self. She keeps herself physically fit with diet and exercise, and she wears her hair, make-up, and clothes in a way that her husband finds attractive and tasteful. Her husband ispleased and proud of her in public, and also in private. (Song of Solomon 1:8-10, 2:2, 7:9, I Peter 3:1-5)
5. His need for a life companion. She! develops mutual interests with herhusband. She discovers those activities her husband enjoys the most and seeks to become proficient in them. If she learns to enjoy them, she joins him in them. If she does not enjoy them, she encourages him to consider others that they canenjoy together. She becomes her husband's best friend so that he repeatedly associates her with the activities he enjoys most. (Song of Solomon 8:1, 2, 6)
THE SEVEN BASIC NEEDS OF A WOMAN
Any husband can make himself irresistible to his wife by learning to meet her seven basic marital needs:
1. Her need for a spiritual leader. He is a man of courage, conviction, commitment, compassion, and character. He takes the initiative in cultivating aspiritual environment for the family. He becomes a capable and competent student of God's Word and lives out before all a life founded on the Word of God. He leads his wife in becoming a woman! of God, and he takes the lead in training the children in the things of the Lord. (Psalm 1, Ephesians 5:23-27)
2. Her need for personal affirmation/appreciation. He praises her for personal attributes and qualities. He extols her virtues as a wife, mother, and homemaker. He openly commends her, in the presence of others, as a marvelous mate, friend, lover, and companion. She feels that to him no one is more important in this world. (Proverbs 31:28-29, Song of Solomon 4:1-7, 6:4-9, 7:1-9)
3. Her need for personal affection (romance). He showers her with timely and generous displays of affection. He also tells her how much he cares for her with a steadfast flow of words, cards, flowers, gifts, and common courtesies. Remember: Affection is the environment in which sexual union is enjoyed and a wonderful marriage develops. (Song of Solomon 6:10, 13, Ephesians 5:28, 29, 33)
4. Her need for intim!ate conversation. He talks with her at the feeling level (heart to heart). He listens to her thoughts (i.e., her heart) about the eventsof her day with sensitivity, interest, and concern. Conversations with her convey a desire to understand her, not to change her. (Song of Solomon 2:8-14, 8:13-14, I Peter 3:7)
5. Her need for honesty and openness. He looks into her eyes and, in love, tells her what he really thinks (Ephesians 4:15). He explains his plans and actions clearly and completely because he regards himself as responsible for her. He wants her to trust him and feel secure. (Proverbs 15:22, 23)
6. Her need for home support and stability. He firmly shoulders the responsibility to house, feed, and clothe the family. He provides and protects, and he does not feel sorry for himself when things get tough. Instead he looks for concrete ways to improve home life. He desires to raise their marriage and family to a safer and more fulfilling level. Remember: The husband/father is the security hub of the family. (I Timothy 5:8)
7. Her need for family commitment. He puts his family first. He commits his time and energy to the spiritual, moral, and intellectual development of the children. For example, he prays with them (especially at night by the bedside), he reads to them, he engages in sports with them, and takes them on other outings. He does not play the fool's game of working long hours, trying to get ahead, while children and spouse languish in neglect. (Ephesians 6:4, Colossians 3:19-21) --
"Love is supreme and unconditional; like is nice but limited." Duke Ellington
"Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power too act." Proverbs 3:27
THE FIVE BASIC NEEDS OF A MAN
A wife makes herself irresistible to her husband by learning to meet his five basic needs:
1. His need for admiration and respect. She understands and appreciates his value and achievements more than anything else. She reminds him of his capabilities and helps him maintain his walk with God and also his self-confidence. She is proud of her husband, not out of duty, but as an expression of sincere admiration for the man she loves and with whom she has chosen to share her life. (Ephesians 5: 23, 33)
2. His need for sexual fulfillment. She becomes an excellent sexual partner to him. She studies her own response to recognize and understand what brings out the best in her, then she communicates this information to her husband, and together they learn to have a sexual r!elationship that both find repeatedly satisfying and enjoyable. (Proverbs 5:15-23, Song of Solomon 4:9-5:1, I Cor 7:1-5, Hebrews 13:4)
3. His need for home support. She creates a home that offers him an atmosphere of peace and quiet and refuge. She manages the home and care of the children. The home is a place of rest and rejuvenation. Remember: the wife/mother is the emotional hub of the family. (Proverbs 9:13, 19:13, 21:9, 19, 25:24, 31:10-31)
4. His need for her attractiveness. She is possessed of inner and outer beauty. She cultivates a Christ like spirit in her inner self. She keeps herself physically fit with diet and exercise, and she wears her hair, make-up, and clothes in a way that her husband finds attractive and tasteful. Her husband ispleased and proud of her in public, and also in private. (Song of Solomon 1:8-10, 2:2, 7:9, I Peter 3:1-5)
5. His need for a life companion. She! develops mutual interests with herhusband. She discovers those activities her husband enjoys the most and seeks to become proficient in them. If she learns to enjoy them, she joins him in them. If she does not enjoy them, she encourages him to consider others that they canenjoy together. She becomes her husband's best friend so that he repeatedly associates her with the activities he enjoys most. (Song of Solomon 8:1, 2, 6)
THE SEVEN BASIC NEEDS OF A WOMAN
Any husband can make himself irresistible to his wife by learning to meet her seven basic marital needs:
1. Her need for a spiritual leader. He is a man of courage, conviction, commitment, compassion, and character. He takes the initiative in cultivating aspiritual environment for the family. He becomes a capable and competent student of God's Word and lives out before all a life founded on the Word of God. He leads his wife in becoming a woman! of God, and he takes the lead in training the children in the things of the Lord. (Psalm 1, Ephesians 5:23-27)
2. Her need for personal affirmation/appreciation. He praises her for personal attributes and qualities. He extols her virtues as a wife, mother, and homemaker. He openly commends her, in the presence of others, as a marvelous mate, friend, lover, and companion. She feels that to him no one is more important in this world. (Proverbs 31:28-29, Song of Solomon 4:1-7, 6:4-9, 7:1-9)
3. Her need for personal affection (romance). He showers her with timely and generous displays of affection. He also tells her how much he cares for her with a steadfast flow of words, cards, flowers, gifts, and common courtesies. Remember: Affection is the environment in which sexual union is enjoyed and a wonderful marriage develops. (Song of Solomon 6:10, 13, Ephesians 5:28, 29, 33)
4. Her need for intim!ate conversation. He talks with her at the feeling level (heart to heart). He listens to her thoughts (i.e., her heart) about the eventsof her day with sensitivity, interest, and concern. Conversations with her convey a desire to understand her, not to change her. (Song of Solomon 2:8-14, 8:13-14, I Peter 3:7)
5. Her need for honesty and openness. He looks into her eyes and, in love, tells her what he really thinks (Ephesians 4:15). He explains his plans and actions clearly and completely because he regards himself as responsible for her. He wants her to trust him and feel secure. (Proverbs 15:22, 23)
6. Her need for home support and stability. He firmly shoulders the responsibility to house, feed, and clothe the family. He provides and protects, and he does not feel sorry for himself when things get tough. Instead he looks for concrete ways to improve home life. He desires to raise their marriage and family to a safer and more fulfilling level. Remember: The husband/father is the security hub of the family. (I Timothy 5:8)
7. Her need for family commitment. He puts his family first. He commits his time and energy to the spiritual, moral, and intellectual development of the children. For example, he prays with them (especially at night by the bedside), he reads to them, he engages in sports with them, and takes them on other outings. He does not play the fool's game of working long hours, trying to get ahead, while children and spouse languish in neglect. (Ephesians 6:4, Colossians 3:19-21) --
"Love is supreme and unconditional; like is nice but limited." Duke Ellington
"Do not withhold good from those who deserve it, when it is in your power too act." Proverbs 3:27
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