Question of the Day...
In your opinion, what's the difference between simply loving someone and being in love with someone?
Let me start with the definition of the word love. According to www.dictionary.com love is defined as:
1.
A profoundly tender, passionate affection for another person.
2.
A feeling of warm personal attachment or deep affection, as for a parent, child, or friend.
Now, the most important definition of love is “God’s Love” when examining my thoughts about love and what it is, I often think of the love that the bible speaks of when they talk about the love that God has for us. I went to www.bible.com to see if there was a specific biblical definition of love, and there wasn’t a topic, however, since this question was posed in the context of relationships I found an article entitled “Choosing a mate” http://www.bible.com/bibleanswers_result.php?id=149 (you can click the link to read the entire article for yourself), but basically, as some have said before, love is about many things. Love is patient, love is kind, it is constant and everlasting. In my opinion, for those that are religious, if we are trying to walk in the light of the Lord then love is an easy subject to understand, you love others as God loves you and that is unconditional. Point blank, PERIOD!
Love is not something that leaves, or it isn’t supposed to. When you truly love someone that love shouldn’t change, no matter what happens. Love doesn’t die, it is forever. In my humble opinion, loving someone should simply be “what we do.” It is a part of life. I think that in too many cases, during our relationships, we forget that according to the word of God we are supposed to love everyone so there should be no question as to whether or not we love someone. Now, does that love come in different packages, of course it does! We don’t love our parents the same way that we love our husbands or wives and there is a level of sexual intimacy that isn’t there with other people in our lives, or at least there should be.
All in all I think that loving someone from the bf/gf (or whatever your preference be set toJ) standpoint gets clouded because we loose site of the main goal which is to love others as God loves us. Life would be much simpler if we put more time into accepting love instead of trying to figure it out, or trying to find ways to “fall out of it”
A while back I created a blog entitled Love *Oh Goodness* and I think that really sums up majority of my thoughts on love itself.
On the other hand, being in love with someone is on a whole other level. There is a difference for those that think there is not, check out the bible.com article above.
According to dictionary.com to be “in love” is
In love, infused with or feeling deep affection or passion: a youth always in love.
26.
In love with, feeling deep affection or passion for (a person, idea, occupation, etc.); enamored of: in love with the girl next door; in love with one's work.
In my opinion, which matters to me, to be in love is to love, PLUS! It is the act of loving on a whole other level, to be in love with someone is to experience the unknown. With each person you fall in love with, things are different. There is a level of commitment when you are in love with someone beyond anything you can imagine. A commitment that can make you take your bf/gf back when they have hurt you more than you ever could know, or have ever dreamed of. It is being willing to include someone else in your thoughts and dreams. It is missing that person when you are away and longing for them throughout your day. It is absolutely amazing to be honest, when you allow yourself to be in love.
I honestly think that many people are afraid of the term “in love” even though it is filled with so many good things. People are so afraid of what they may be missing that they don’t fully allow themselves to love their mate for fear that they may get hurt, or the person may not be in love with them in return, which is a risk associated with love period because some people don’t understand or agree with the fact that no matter what we should love the way that God loves us and if we do that, how can we go wrong!
Let me try and sum this up by simply saying there are risks associated with love in this earthly realm. Someone may not realize that they actually love you until it is too late. Stop being afraid of love and embrace it, spread it around (not sexually) to all you meet, you may be surprised at how much your life improves. I think the late great Luther Vandross summed up love and being in love when he wrote I’d rather…take a look at the lyrics and see for yourself.
Don’t forget to leave your two cent, as I just did!
"I'd Rather"
I thought sometime alone
was what we really needed
you said this time would hurt more than it helps
but I couldn't see that
I thought it was the end
of a beautiful story
and so I left the one I loved at home to be alone (alone)
and I tried to find
out if this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart
I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
whoo-oo-oo-oo yeah
And then I met someone
and thought she could replace you
we got a long just fine
we wasted time because she was not you
we had a lot of fun
though we knew we were faking
love was not impressed with our connection built on lies, all lies
so I'm here cause I found this one thing is true
that I'm nothing without you
I know better now
and I've had a change of heart
I'd rather have bad times with you, than good times with someone else
I'd rather be beside you in a storm, than safe and warm by myself
I'd rather have hard times together, than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
who holds my heart
I can't blame you if you turn away from me, like I've done you,
I can only prove the things I say with time,
please be mine,
I'd rather have bad times with (please be mine) you,
than good times with someone else (I know)
I'd rather be beside you in a storm (anytime),
than safe and warm by myself (so sure baby)
I'd rather have hard times to gether,
than to have it easy apart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart (my heart)
I'd rather have bad times with you (surely),
than good times with someone else (surely)
I'd rather be beside you in a storm (oh yeah),
than safe and warm by myself (all by myself)
I'd rather have hard times together,
than to have it easy apart (you know it)
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
I'd rather have the one who holds my heart
whoooo.....who holds my heart
14 comments:
Oh wow I think its a big difference being in love with a person is unconditional love, caring about that persons feelings , sharing with them that love where you can imagine life without them being in it. I think you know when you are in love with a person is when u think about them before you make any moves in life it always involves them and how they might feel about it. I mean I am not trying to say being in love is being obsessed ( thats crazy in love lmao) its a difference but its also different from just loving a person. Some people just love a person enough they care about if something happened to them , they are content with them being in there life, and they would miss them if they separated and moved on but when you are in love I think when you separate a lil piece of your heart goes with that person. that person completed your being . People are together for years wit people that they just love and thats cool but to have a person in love with you and its reciprocated thats a BEAUTIFUL thing.
Love- is when you care about the person and don't want to see anthing happen to them and you have their best interest at heart.
In love- is when you have this feeling inside that you can't explain. You will do anything for this person no matter how small and big. You want to spend every minute, hour and day. You also think about the person all the time and can't get them off your mind.
So do you just love or are you in love. I think you can tell when your in love when the other person does some really messed up stuff and your feelings are so hurt that because you in love you are willing to look pass your hurt and forgive. Being in love is having a strong hold on one another feelings and being there thru thick n thin.
an o wow response.....
Money and the size of their "pickle". (smile)
A great deal of difference. Being in love can be fleeting and almost like infatuation. You have to ask your self are you willing to endure the good times and hardships with the particular person.
I usually give myself the worse case scenario which is seeing the person's health fail such as paralysis, cancer and if you could endure and be there for the person. If the answer is yes than you love the person and if you have to hesitate for a moment or think longer than a day, no real love is there.
a guys point of view
See thats why I said I would answer later... it is a very fine line between Obsessed or "INSANE" & "IN LOVE"....it really is... Unconditional is not a difference either... because you love friends and family unconditionally too... just different... In LOVE... is breathing and living the others persons spirit... and I do admit some things in both may be similar but the extent of how far you will go to achieve them is where they seem to differ... Love truly is "GOD" or spirituality......."GOD" " IS LOVE" you ever hear the proverb a Child of GOD's heart should be so embeded in "GOD" that his or her mate will have to seek "GOD" first to find him or her... which in a sense means everyones "IN LOVE" is different..not saying you have to go to church or anything..lol....but because its the Journey "TOO" each other that makes you IN LOVE... The Journey "WITH" each other that keeps you in love... not sure if you can relate that... Keeping that in mind I think you have the genuine Love for a person down pact... you care about that person... their well being,.. they are naturally a part or influence on your life GOOD or BAD..You Love with your heart... You think heart first... IN LOVE is thoughtless.... effortless... it has no boundaries or limitations...(Thats why I said its a fine line).."IN LOVE" can(YES IT CAN) make you go crazy.. where just loving a person can only give your heartache...
Hope I could be of some help...
another guys point of view
To me, loving someone is easy...I really do love people (even the ones that probably hate me - a little tension makes for an interesting life, and tests your mettle! LOL).
I do think that there are different levels of love. These levels are tied to different levels of trust and relationship status. You can probably agree that when you say you love people, it doesn't mean that you love people in an altruistic way (like Jesus loved people so much that he died for them...strangers and all)...It means that you probably love them, but in a distant, unconnected way. I can love people (species) in a group kind of way, but that doesn't mean the same as I would love my own family.
I am sure you can agree, that the love a mother has for her child, is totally different from the love that same mother would share with her husband, or her own mother and father.
Being in love with a person means that you actually connected intimately, intimacy doesn't always mean of the physical sort (get your mind out the gutter). You can have an intimate friendship, but the intimacy you share with your significant other is different...you wouldn't cuddle with your bestfriend. Although a bestfriend can read you, two people that are really in love "feel" eachothers presence and mood, even when they are apart.
I read of incidents that happened where couples have been married and in love, and a spouse was on the other side of the world and died, and the spouse "knew"...felt it immediately. That is when you are in love with someone. When I can have a conversation with someone I am in love with, and never open my mouth...When I have an almost psychic connection with that person, where living for both of you seems dependent on the happiness of the other. Where trust is not even questioned, and you both just "know"...you can anticipate each other...that's the difference for me in loving a person, and being in love with them. Being in love is shared, loving a person? It doesn't have to be.
Well to me begining in love with someone is like lusting. In love -- you are in love with what the person can do for you, there body, there sex, their conversation or the fun you have with the person. As soon as all of the things are gone. You find yourself saying or telling people, I'm not in love with him or her anymore. But when you love everything about the person whether they losts a leg or eye, can't conversation anymore, he or she gain or losts weight can't buy you things like they use to and you are still there loving them like you did when you first met. that love to me. and also God so LOVED the world that he gave is son. not god was in love with the world he gave his son. He also love all of us today thur all our mess. after he gave his life and we still not living right and he still love us. that's love.
God...is love. I can stop right here. Pick up your word and familiarize yourselves more with Him. Love has no boundaries, no limitations, no expectancy of receiving anything in return. Anything about your life, our lives, and why we continue waking up throughout these days is because of love. God's love. He is what love is. It's not just in His word; He shows it with action. Love is forever without for- in front of -ever. I apologize for that...everlasting. The bible clearly says what love is.
In love...is the depth that the world chooses to put on love itself. Dangerous if you ask me...but no ones asking me. In love...out of love...can you see the difference and what it does just by saying the two. Doesn't make sense to put such things towards love itself. Does the bible speak of being in love...such emotion? Being in love...you fall in love, you fall out of love...there's your issue. Where love is constant, being in or out of...love...if that's what floats your boat...should not be the way to go. I'm not hatin'...for y'all that thrive on being in love. That's my contribution to the world we live in.
another man's point of view....
God is love for those that need a god to be love...God supported slavery. God supported witch burnings and massacres. God man made, and flawed. God promotes division and hatred. God was used to support why the races shouldn't mix, why Jim Crow shouldn't die. God was used to support bans against interracial marriage (if it had been through "Gods" interpretation of race, there never would have been a such thing as Obama of mixed race).
If a person needs to believe in the notion of a God to fulfull their desire for love, fine. Just don't believe that the idea, the very creation of the bible and a god was all man made...God didn't create the bible, it was authored by several "MEN" known and unknown...Much of it cannot be verified as true. It has been corrupted by Constantine, the Council of Nicea and King Henry the VII, King James and few more "MEN"...
Love really, in its most primitive functions, is to cause an environment perfect for procreation. Especially when a woman has already had a child. It makes her forget all the pain and misery associated with bearing a child. Love is a primal condition that has been necessary for the expansion of the human race...It isn't necessary, but it helps. As technology and the push away from an agrarian and manufacturing society make us more independent, you will see that lifetime love will become a thing of the past...No need to have 10 babies to do them chores!
As more and more men and women opt for lives alone, love will lose its meaning, as it already has. It is already used far to losely...It goes to show that we, humans are evolving. Love isn't fleeting and rare for nothing!
for me:
loving someone = u care deeply for him, don't want anything bad to happen to him, would be torn apart if he wasn't a part of your life somehow. you want him to be happy, not necessarily with you. he has a special place in your heart. he's probably your best friend and you can be totally honest with him.
being in love with someone= all that, plus the fact that you can't live without him. you miss him when he's away from you, no matter how short a time period. you want him for youself. basically, you wanna marry him and have his babies (LOL!)
Love - Caring, not wanting to see any harm done to that person. You can LOVE anything/body
IN LOVE - MAKING SURE that nothing happens to that person... Defending that person's honor, to the death -- if needbe... Not seeing yourself w/out that person... doing more than just saying the shit... wanting to build a future w/ that person... not letting anyone/thing stand in your way.
I could go on!
*hums Luther*
Most people that "believe" in the bible, and try to "interpret" don't
even have the knowledge or requisite history to understand the religion
upon which it was spun off...Judaism.
You cannot make a logical, well informed interpretation, if you do not
understand the men (their reasons and circumstances surrounding their
words) or the original audience that the book was written for...Do you
lie? Does not man lie? If you are going through a stressful moment
right at this time - and say, perhaps, that you are responsible for
crafting laws and policy that may affect the masses...wouldn't what you
are goin through affect your policy? What knowledge do the people who
interpret this "hodge podge" of nonsense (it is ok to stone your wife;
take my virgin daughter, not the strangers; slaves honor your masters;
sacrifice your son for me - not the one that you had with the servant,
and then took them out into the desert and abandoned them - the one you
had with the old chic who was jealous - yea, what kind of loving god
would do that? I call that child abuse!).
Look, to me, the bible is little more than reading the horoscope.
Hitler used the bible to justify the massacre of Jewish people...KKK
used the bible to support lynchings...The Confederate South used the
bible to justify slavery (as well as several presidents and people that
signed the Constitution)...The bible was used and interpreted to wipe
Native Americans out.
If you need it, have it...However, my fear is that many people who use
the bible and religion to support love, have a very narrow view and
definition on who that love is applicapable to. If it were something
private (religion and the belief in a god - which I believe is little
more than a myth) than fine...However, when these interpretations of a
supposed god's law corrupts the law of a Democracy, then I have a
problem with that...Love isn't reserved simply for believers, especially
when they break one of their cardinal rules, which is not to judge!
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