I'm single because...

Why I’m Single
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> by Nina Brown
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> I am single because I have a 6 year old son who soaks up everything like a sponge and I haven’t met too many men who would leave an impression on him I would be proud of.
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> I am single because I have a fabulous job that consumes so much of my time.
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> I am single because I am a “single black female addicted to retail” and when the going gets tough, I spend my money on very expensive jeans or a fabulous new designer hand bag. I spend my own money on my fetishes because I never want to feel like I owe a man anything because he bought me something .
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> I am single because after 3 months of dating, you cut me off with no explanation… only for me to realize, you’ve been engaged to be married the entire time. It’s unfortunate a radio show had to bring the truth out. Wow, thanks for copying on me the non-existent memo.
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> I am single because I can be very stubborn. I refuse to lower my standards because of the shortage of available, straight men.
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> I am single because I have an obsession with swagger and I refuse to date a man who lacks it.
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> I am single because my vision is grand, and my man has to understand that, and be working on his own incredible vision simultaneously.
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> I am single because I am quick witted and extremely driven. I will not date a “slow lane” dude. I’d like my man to drive faster than I do, so that I can be challenged by a new speed and inspired to “keep up”.
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> I am single because I will never allow a man to make me feel like I’m not the shit. Even when my skin isn’t perfect, my waist isn’t the smallest and my booty isn’t the biggest… I’m still the shit.
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> I am single because I have an incredible Daddy who raised me, I understand what a stand up dude is. I expect my man to take care of his children, woman and household just as my Daddy did. There is no excuse.
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> I am single because I work in a male dominated industry and most men can’t handle the fact I’m around other powerful, popular and well-connected men 24/7.
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> I am single because I have more backbone than a lot of men and I don’t always want to be the “driver”. I’d like to ride shotgun every once in a while, as my man takes over. He’ll never have to worry about my ability to drive, when he’s tired, I’ll gladly take over.
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> I am single because I can carry my own weight. Most men have ego’s that need to be stroked, so they seek needy women to make them feel like “men”, looking down upon “independent women”. Fortunately, I’m not looking for a “daddy”, I’ve got one. I’m looking for an “equal” who can help me take over the world.
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> I am single because my male mentors expose me to things most men can’t, like fine dining and traveling to new places some only experience thru the Discovery Channel. I would never expect a man to attempt to keep up with another, but its a state of mind, I need my man to want to expose me to new shit. Teach me something I don’t already know, show me something I haven’t already seen. If you can’t physically or financially do that, be able to do it mentally, it does count.
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> I am single because I have a zero tolerance for ignorance.
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> I am single because the one guy who captured my heart, happens to be a lil busy taking over the world, managing a multi-platinum artist and running a successful record label, timing is everything… and it wasn’t our time. I fell in love with his work ethic, so I could never stand in the way of his grind. I watch from afar in amazement at his growth. Proud of everything he has accomplished and who he has become. I fall back easily, knowing you win some and you lose some… And if you’re lucky, you remain friends for a lifetime, which means… you never really lost.
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> I am single because I expect my man to lead, and quite honestly, the majority of men these days have no idea where they’re going… And I’m supposed to follow you???
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> I am single because I will not sweat or stalk you, regardless of how fine you might be… I’ve got pride and a life.
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> I am single because I choose to keep a good reputation, I will not sleep with you because you drive a flashy car, rock $500 Evisu jeans or have an icy watch and chain to match. Often times, that’s all you’ve got… these 4 things.
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> I am single because I’m attracted to the hip hop culture and sometimes shy away from everything else. I should keep my options open, but I’m addicted to swagger, its not my fault.
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> I am single because sometimes I’d rather sleep then be on the social scene. I wake up at 3:30 am, 5 days a week… You have to be the SHIT to make me sacrifice my R & R.
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> I am single because I’d sometimes rather hang out with my fabulous girlfriends then play the “get to know you” game with some new dude. My girlfriends mean guaranteed laughter and good times, can you guarantee that?
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> I am single because I don’t want to inherit your baby mama drama… My sons father is one of the most unselfish men I’ve ever met. I thank God I don’t have baby daddy drama, why welcome yours?
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> I am single because some men are intimidated by my profession.
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> I am single because I refuse to play the sideline chick. I’m a good girl, if that doesn’t make you want to make me number one, I keep it moving.
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> I am single because I don’t want to meet your kids on the second date, just because you date, doesn’t mean your children do too… I need a man who understands that.
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> I am single because I think male groupies are the lowest form of man. I see the groupie in a lot of men before they see it in themselves. Its disgusting.
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> I am single because I realize some men want to be affiliated with my connections and reap the benefits of my profession. If I were the same chick and working at QT, you wouldn’t be that pressed.
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> I am single because the most important men in my life told me, I deserve the best, and now, that’s what I want.
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> I am single because I will not tolerate being lied too. What an insult to my intelligence.
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> I am single because I have a phobia for the down low. I need a man who digs women… Only!
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> I am single because I walk away at the first sight of a “red flag”. I have an incurable syndrome called “quick-to-cut-a-nigga-off”. Surprisingly, men suffer from psycho behavior too… Funny, I thought that was just a “girl thing”???
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> I am single because I choose to be. When the right man comes along who truly deserves my love, I will not doubt, second guess or conditionally love him. He will have me, and ALL of me. I will hold no punches and always be honest, yet compromising, realizing anything worth having requires hard work. I won’t expect a relationship shortcut, I’ll welcome the long route and enjoy the scenery along the way.
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> Just my thoughts,
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> Nina Brown




After reading the thoughts of Ms. Brown I had to stop and take a look at myself and ask, why am I single? I discovered that, YES, I am single for some of the same reasons as Nina, but I am also single for other reasons, matters of personal preference just like Nina.

In my opinion, we are all single, married, dating, or half in/half out because we want to be. If we wanted to be in a relationship with someone we could be, but we have to position ourselves accordingly first.

Maybe some of us are not in relationships because we still have some work to do!? I have been doing a lot of self reflection (or at least I have been trying to do much more than I have been) and during these times I realize that there is still a lot of work to be done on the inside of me. How do we expect to foster good relationships and get all that we desire if we are crappy on the inside. Not only does it harm our physical body, but it kills our spiritual self...a topic for another BLOG! (LOL) It made me think of the new show with Chili from TLC. Now I am in no way passing judgment or saying that she needs to do some work on herself, even though I believe that learning is a lifelong process and NO ONE is perfect...yet some of the things on her list seem a bit "hard to find" in today's society because we are looking for love, seemingly, in all the wrong places. As women I know that we can be picky people and want what we want, when we want it, but have we thought about how all our demands will mesh when put together in a single person?

I know for me, it seems that over time, I have based my wants in a relationship on lessons of the past, both good and bad. I am sure this has both helped and harmed me on my journey, yet, it has made me stronger. Over time I have grown to accept the fact, that whom ever God has for me is for me, no matter how much of a list I have or how much I "think" I want something different. It is often times the simple difference between acceptance or rejection that makes the difference between being single or together...what do you think?

Peace and Blessings,
*Cocoa Butterfly*