I read...What is Success for You...and it made me think...

What is 'Success' for You?

Written by Bob & Debby Gass

Saturday, 31 August 2013
'I have glorified You on the earth...' John 17:4 NKJV

At the end of His life, Jesus was able to pray, 'I have glorified You on the earth. I have finished the work which You have given Me to do.' Jesus didn't try to compete with John the Baptist or model Himself after some Old Testament prophet. He knew what 'success' was for Him. To know what it is for you, you must:
(1) Discern what success really is. When others feel good about you, you're popular; but when you feel good about yourself, you're successful. Your life's highest calling will always create the highest level of joy within you. (2) Before you set goals, pray. 'In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He shall direct your paths.' (Proverbs 3:6 NKJV) It's not wrong to set goals, it's just wrong to set them without first consulting God. (3) Stop expecting others to bring you success. Don't wait for flowers to arrive. God gave you seed; start growing some of your own. 'Pay careful attention to your own work, for then you will get the satisfaction of a job well done, and you won't need to compare yourself to anyone else.' (Galatians 6:4 NLT) And besides, when you're less needy you'll become more attractive to others. (4) Get over yourself - everyone else has. A minister said he was praying one day, 'Father, why does the devil keep reminding me of my past?' God replied, 'Because he's running low on material!' Repent, and then move on. God says He will '...not remember your sins.' (Isaiah 43:25 NKJV) There's only one good reason to bring up the past, and that's to learn from it and grow wiser.

Josh 1-4, Luke 19:1-10, Ps 84, Pr 22:24-26

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I receive Word of the day emails everyday, but this one stood out to me. I will admit, lately I haven't been reading all the daily word emails that I receive. I can't blame any one thing in particular on the reasons that I haven't been reading them everyday because there have been several, but TODAY was the DAY!!!

I was sitting at my laptop, working on some other things and  in my email I came across the message above. It made me think...what is success for me. I know the things that I say I want, but am I really doing all that I can to make those things happen for me.

My answer in some cases was yes and in others no, but the biggest question was...Am I seeking God first when I am making these plans. Now don't get me wrong, I talk to God all the time, but am I asking for his guidance? Am I seeking his advice? Did I ask him was this a part of his plan for my life? Did I ask that his will be done? IN ALL HONESTY...I don't...sometime I "tell" God what I have made for myself and I haven't consulted him or asked for his opinion.

WOW...that made me wonder, is that the reason that I feel some unrest in certain areas. Maybe so...I now realize, that we can plan anything that we want, but we must do the leg work and seek his opinion. God must be included in all decisions.

It is funny how we can think we are including him in the plans and actually not include his opinion. Me, I will be working hard at asking and waiting for a response. I guess I need to slow down, and take a few moments to smell the flowers so I can hear from God.

Just my .08 cents for the day!

Ms. Cocoa Butterfly

If I were a boy...

If I were a boy…now I am sure that when you saw the title of this blog you thought what in the world is going on in this woman’s head!!! Yeah it happened to me too, but I heard the song earlier and it made me think. What would some of the benefits be if I could be a boy sometime…hmmmm…

Let’s examine a few of these things…fellas please know that I love you all, but you all get some perks that women aren’t always afforded. Anywho…

If I were a boy…

1.     I would be able to do sh!t for no good reason.  Wouldn’t it be nice to do whatever I wanted and not have to give a reason other than it was what I wanted to do. Must be nice…right!!! As a woman I can’t really say well I cheated because it was his body was available, or I didn’t wash clothes because I didn’t want to…now granted I could do those things, but think about it. Men can do those things and it is ok ALL THE TIME. When women do it  the world is coming to an end…can we say double standard… I can!

2.     I could not answer my phone and no one would give a d@mn…let me not answer my phone…people are texting me, emailing, asking “Are you ok?” “What’s wrong” “WHY YOU NOT ANSWEING YOUR PHONE” How about I just don’t feel like talking. Just because you have a penis you can say “my phone was off!” now what…WTH!!! No explanation, just because you said so…I just don’t get it.

3.     I could go stay out all night and blame it on the alcohol…women…stay out all night and blame it on the alcohol and see what people call you! Just be careful of who is calling you…they might be offering more alcohol in hopes of getting you out all night again. LOL!

4.     I could blame not taking care of my responsibilities (kids mainly) on the fact that I am not together personally…bullsh!t…as a mom…together or not I have a job that has to be done and no one gives two good flicks if I am not together. WORK MUST STILL BE DONE…MOMMY DUTY GETS NO BREAK!

5.     I could have a million and one girls and be the main man in my “crew” but as a woman…have a bunch of dudes and you will never get married! You better stay your butt alone and not get caught up with a whole bunch of dudes or you will be doomed lol

6. I would pee outside...NOW  THIS thought was brought up by my cousin Toya, but it is so true...I would to be able to just go around a tree or on the side of the building and not expose all of my beautiful goodies to the world. While I know that men are excited every time a woman goes the bathroom outside but us women would love to just pull over, whip out, and go on site...that must be a GREAT feeling!

Now, I don't really want to be a boy because I ABSOLUTELY love being me and being a girl but sometime I sure would like to be able to put on a d!ck and balls suit and be a man for just a while to see what life is like on the other side. I’m sure I could only stomach all the groupies, fake friends and laziness for a moment, but it sure would allow me to understand what the heck y’all men think about a little better.

Just a bit of humor on my mind even though I didn’t laugh once when writing this…lol! Hell who cares in the words of Stevie J ‘It’s my bus, my air and my gas…” I can’t stand him by the way!

LOVE LIFE!!!!

Epiphany...Today I realized some things!!!

Well...well...well...How have you been Cyber World????

It has been a long time since I have posted some of my original thoughts on this BLOG but for a while now, I have been feeling the need to release some built up tension and what better place to do it then right here on my BLOG. 

Lately, I have been doing a lot of work on myself. Mainly, because I have had nothing but time, but also because I have noticed some things that need to change in my life. I learned a long time ago that you can't change other people so you have to begin with self so here is where I begin...

I had an epiphany today (well actually a few)... I realized some things about myself and the things that make me tick and they make  good sense so I thought I would share them with those that care to read.

Here lately, myself and a few of the other females in my circle have come to the true realization that SOME DUDES just aren't meant to be. No matter how much you like them...want to be with them...think they have potential or whatever SOME just plain aren't READY! Point Blank PERIOD...now this can be a very harsh reality for a female who thought they had things all figured out!

Silly me right...RIGHT! 

I decided that it was time to think of some things and work on me, after spending my last Sunday sharing my blues with my BFF whom I love to death (BIG Kisses & Hugs to her for always being there...) We came to a consensus on some things which brought me to some of the epiphanies that I had today...

1. I AM GETTING TOO "MATURE" FOR "RANDOM" DATING 

Now, don't get me wrong, I like going out on dates, but I am no longer at the point that I want to go out on dates with "Who shot John" on Monday, "I look good, but have nothing on my mind Dan" on Wednesday and "I am going to make you think I am ready but still want to play Tom" On  Friday or Saturday. I don't mind dating, but dating one person is enough to remember...I don't want to be dating half the city trying to find one person who may be even remotely close to wanting the same things that I want. I have even discovered that dating one person, if they're the wrong person, can still be a hassle so from now on I plan to ask any man that wants to take me out, why?

Him:     Can I take you out some time soon?
Me:       Why? Are you ready for something serious later?
Him:     Uhhhhhh... *running scared because he was just playing* 
Me:       I thought so...

I just don't have time any more and I don't want to waste any more time. Now, while it may be a little funny, it is true...if my ultimate goal is to be in a committed relationship with ONE MAN then there is no need for me to be dating the dude that still wants to play, have "snow bunnies" or "suga mommas" I just don't have time for it anymore. For years, I have been hearing...if a MAN wants to be with you he knows within minutes of meeting you...They say when a man knows he knows...OK...I won't be the one waiting around anymore while he tries to figure it out. Get it together please or get on...or as I said on FB earlier after watching it on this relationship video..."It is time to "Step up in my life or STEP OUT..." Playtime is OVER! It will never be the perfect time for most things...learn to be honest, relate, communicate and GROW TOGETHER!!!" I wish folks would stop being so scared of what they are going to miss in these streets and realize it is NOTHING!!! You can build some much more with someone...we weren't made to be a part, but guess who will be until I have someone who is READY to step up in my life and grow together...ME!


2. I HATE BEING LIED TOO...


Now this was another one of my FB stats today...yes, it was based on some lies that I realized, did I confront the person about it?! ...NO... Why you might ask?!...because they already knew they were lying to me. They lied on purpose to cover something up that they didn't really want me to know. Let me ask you something person!!!... do you really think I am going to keep hanging around and the quality of your lies is so bad that I can see right through them....IMMEDIATELY! I mean come on son! Give me some credit. I have been in this world for a beautiful 31 years and I have been through and seen more things than you might be able to imagine, you aren't really getting over on me slim! I know you! I have watched you change and I see the difference. Man, I am x-ray hip, as my good friend would say, meaning I see right through your ish...just because I don't openly acknowledge it right now, doesn't mean I am not paying attention. I see and HEAR everything. Sad part about it is most folk don't even realize when you are giving them time to redeem themselves. I want to just scream like in the Spike Lee Movie WAAAAKKKKEEEEE UUUUUPPPPPPPP!!!!!!! I guess that won't happen until folks are watching my back! (as I walk away of course) 


3. IF HE LIKES YOU HE WILL MAKE TIME


Now, I can't say that this is really new, but more and more I am watching people accept less and less, including myself, and I had to stop and ask myself...Gurla...what are you doing?! You know dag on well that man had time to come see you or talk to you, he didn't because HE DIDN'T WANT TO...tonight or today was someone else's time and you can't have it. If a MAN, not a BOY wants to be with you, he will make time, he will call, he will want to see you as much as he knows you want to see him...take a look at this video that I watched today. He is certainly speaking some confirmation to me. In the beginning, dudes will sacrifice almost everything to come see you, call you, text you, whatever and then *POW* the new chick hits the scene and *in my Selena Johnson voice* It all falls down...hill that is. The calls stop, the visits get far and few in between, the texts become non-existent and eventually you two fall off the map. I don't have time for this crap anymore. At the first site of lessened behavior I'm singing "hit the road jack and don't you come back no more, no more, no more, no more..." unless you are ready that is and you have consulted God first...I don't have time for childish games anymore, life is too short.  Grow up or GET LOST... PLEASE!!!! 

4. I AM TAKING MY POWER BACK AND KEEPING IT!

I am a woman who likes to do nice things for my guy, I cook, plan surprises and even make sure that I help you remember the things most important to you. Now, unlike some of the things mentioned in this clip that I watched earlier from Talks with Tony, which I think would be helpful to help you get your power back as well, I don't let men control me in the ways most think. Me, in all honesty, I let you know that I like you if I do and I let you know what I don't like if there is something. Most men can't handle that so it can become a power struggle between the two or scare some half to death. When I say I want honesty...believe me I do, so I can make a choice to stay or to go...I don't like being forced into things. I don't like being in the room with your friends and everyone else knows I am just one of many...atleast let me be in on the joke...don't leave me hanging. I like laughter too! *Shooooot* Don't save all the funnies for after I leave let me laugh with you, so I can laugh at you when I make haste and *STEP* I am at a point in my life where I am ready to be someone's "NUMERO UNO" I don't want to be number on the team...I want to be NUMBER ONE AND ONLY...If you can't or aren't ready for that say so Jack! and we can make like a banana and split! LOL...corny I know, but I mean it...Life is too short and I mean way too short to be playing on a team forever. The only team I want to be on is my softball team (Go Team DirtBoyz), but no relationship teams for me unless it is our family unit. I said all that to say it is either ALL OR NOTHING and I am keeping my power until someone is ready and willing to give me their all and I MEAN IT!


NOW, please read me and read me clearly, I don't mean that we need to be married over night, but I do know that there will never be a perfect time for much of what goes on in this life. Everything will take work. We will all have our good days and our bad days, but ultimately we make ourselves happy. If you find someone that makes you happy, why wait...so someone else can come along and try to get them...makes no sense. Now, I know that according to the word, what God has for you is for you, so if someone comes along and takes that person then they may not have been for you, but what if they are and your procrastination, because you need a few more notches on your head board, lets them pass you by...Yes, there is a possibility you may get them back, but how long will you hurt before you do?


Save the begging and make the right decision today...save yourself and work on yourself until the right one comes along is what I am telling myself...Maybe you should do the same..

I am so thankful for these things I realized today...and I am even more happy that I sat down and wrote this BLOG...


Just my thoughts and I thank you for yours...comments that is...


*Muah*


Ms. Shaun

Heather Lindsey: Struggling with Discontentment: WHEN is my TIME?

I have been having my own personal struggles with many of the things discussed in the questions at the beginning of this BLOG. I am wondering what I am going to do, feeling like I need to make some changes and not really knowing where to start...I am glad that I decided to read this because it gave me a new perspective and allowed me to think on all the positive things that I do have. I will be doing my best not to focus on the negative but keep my eyes stayed on God and the positive things that he can do for me. I know he can do anything but FAIL!!!

Share this BLOG with someone else...you never know who may need it...

Ms. Shaun



Heather Lindsey: Struggling with Discontentment: WHEN is my TIME?: GOD-- WHEN is MY TIME? WHY is it that everyone else is getting married? WHY can't I find a relationship that is worth my 5 minutes? WH...

Heather Lindsey: WHY won't they COMMIT?!?!

Her BLOG is such a good one to read...they share lots of REAL information for real people in relationships or looking to be in one.

Happy Reading!!!

Ms. Shaun


Heather Lindsey: WHY won't they COMMIT?!?!: Ever found yourself in that place? Maybe you had an ex boyfriend that you went back and forth with.. or an ex girlfriend you used to jus...

Do all men have mistresses???

I received this message via email from Facebook and I thought what better way to get back into blogging then to start with this topic.  See my comments in the comment section...

Please leave your thoughts...

Peace & Love...

*Ms. Cocoa Butterfly*

Dear Champ,
I have somewhat of a problem that has left me very confused emotionally, and I could use a males perspective from someone who doesn’t know me and isn’t afraid to keep it real with me. I’m friends with this guy and we’ve been friends for about a year now and we mesh so well…. Long story short we’ve developed feelings for each other over the course of our friendship, the problem is he has a girlfriend! Now we’ve never been intimate or even kissed for that matter but the feelings are evident to everyone even his girlfriend (she’s very insecure when it comes to me, she has all reason to be because he’s cheating emotionally)… The thing is he expresses to me how he wants to leave his girlfriend; partly because of me and partly because he believes its the end of the road for their relationship, but he doesn’t want to break her heart (so he says).

My question: is his procrastination a true sign that he really doesn’t want to leave his girlfriend to build something with me? I mean i don’t think he would have any reason to string me along he hasn’t even gotten any…. But hey I’m not a man and as much as i would like to believe that i know what the opposite sex is thinking,I DON’T! please help Champ.Emotionally Confused.

Dear Emotionally Confused,
I must really like you, because I’m about to tell you something that might get my man card suspended for the next 6 to 8 months. Included with that man card membership is at least a dozen very generous perks, including discounted wings at specified location, a GPS to let you know exactly how far away your girlfriend is so you can shut your fun down before she has a chance to, and a Rosetta Stone to help you decipher Derrick Rose whenever he speaks. But, I’m willing to risk all that for what I’m about to tell you. You ready? Ok.
Every man has a mistress. (Yes. Every.) Now, a man’s mistress may not be a mistress in a traditional sense — he doesn’t have to actually sleep with her — but pretty much every man has at least one woman in his life aside from his significant other who “validates” him and reminds him of how attractive he is. Sometimes it’s a co-worker who has a slight crush on him. Sometimes it’s an ex-girlfriend (If you ever wondered why some guys keep ex’s around, this is the reason). Sometimes it may just be a barista at the Starbucks he stops at every morning, the one who always smiles and flirts with him and occasionally makes him think “What if?” We do this because we crave attention and acknowledgement just as much as women do. And, while most women can just walk down a city block and be reminded of how attractive they are to men, most of us don’t have that same luxury. This is where you — the mistress — come in.
Now, while it may seem like this guy is “stringing you along” for no reason (you mentioned that you haven’t slept together), he’s just enjoying the attention you’re providing him. While he may have feelings for you, there’s perhaps a 99.999% chance that he will not leave his girlfriend for you. I mean sure, he might leave his girlfriend, but don’t expect him to straight to you ready to start anew. And, even if he does happen to do that, if his track record — he’s been doing the emotional cheating thing for a year — is any indication, he’s not a guy you’d want to be in a relationship with anyway.
My advice? Lose his number, delete his email address, unfollow him on Twitter, unfriend him on Facebook, and find someone new.
Sincerely,
Damon Young (aka The Champ)

Mathematics

This was such a beautiful video, I had to share with you all. Please take a look at it when you get a moment. It is truly worth watching.


Beautiful Mathematics Video

Shaun